Disgusting
by frenchy-girl18
Summary: Bella Swan is an international superstar cynical about love.So she vents but uses men like toys.What happens when she starts to develope feelings for her incredibly gorgeous guitarist, Edward Cullen? What happens when she catches him with a girl? 1-shot


A/N: Okay guys, this is my second one-shot. Be kind and don't be too mean please.

**Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight I wouldn't be here.**

Light streamed in through the tour bus's windows causing me to wake up. I slowly opened my eyes and stretched my arms over my head.

"Hello beautiful", a musical voice like velvet said from the doorway of my room.

I looked up and saw Edward, my guitarist.

"Edward!", I exclaimed smirking.

He smiled an impossibly delicious crooked smile.

"Ohh mi'lady… it's time to get up", he sang and crawled slowly on my bed.

I giggled as he laid his head on my stomach.

"No! I refuse to get out of this bed", I giggled.

"I could live with that", he said suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows

"Ewe you pervert!" I laughed, pushing on his shoulder.

He laughed, got up, and left the room so I could get changed.

I smiled and fell face first back into my pillow.

My name is Bella Swan, international superstar and I was on tour with my band. Lately, I've had some bad publicity saying I use men like a sick person uses Kleenexes. Some of it was true. Men were toys to me, something for enjoyment in the moment. The only men I respected were my band mates, my relatives, my publicist, and my tour bus driver.

You could safely say I was the rebel of the singing world.

My band mates, on the other hand, were amazing.

Jacob Black was my drummer and ex-boyfriend. However, now he was more of a big brother. He was sort of beautiful. He had long black hair and warm, brown eyes. His skin was a lovely russet color and he had the biggest muscles I've ever seen.

Damien Vlad was our bassist and my cousin. He was beautiful in that guy-next-door type of look. He had the bluest eyes I've ever seen and shaggy, blue-black hair that curled upwards near his ears. He was very lanky and was that quiet yet calming, charming type.

Finally there was Edward Cullen. He was my guitarist and my best friend of sorts. And he was the most gorgeous creature I have ever seen. He had bronze hair, neither brown nor red, but both, in disarray on top of his head in the most sexy mess I have ever seen. His eyes were the most piercing shade of emerald green and had gold specks in it. All his features were perfectly chiseled and angular, and he had long lean muscles that weren't as big as Jacob's but still noticeable.

I sighed before getting out of bed and putting on a pair of black jeans that scrunched up at the ends, an off-the-shoulder metallic gray tight shirt, metallic gray open toe pump heels, a silver cuff bracelet, and a silver necklace with shards of metallic gray and silver and gold pieces hanging off it. I kept my hair down.

Satisfied with my outfit, I walked out of my bedroom and into the main part of the tour bus.

"Hey Damien", I said smiling as I saw him groan and roll over on his bunk.

Below him on the bottom bunk, Jacob sat up looking disoriented with major bed head.

I giggled.

"New style, Jake?" I teased.

He flipped me the birdie and fell face first into the pillow.

Suddenly, Edward walked out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel, hanging dangerously low on his hips.

Despite myself, I found myself ogling his perfect body. He had toned and tanned pecks with a well-defined six pack. I got the strange impulse to run my hands over it. To see if they were as firm as they seemed.

"You know Bella, take a picture, it lasts longer", he smirked his infamous crooked smile, gesturing to his body.

"Ah my eyes! Put some clothes on man!", I said while smirking like the Cheshire cat.

He laughed before walking into his bedroom and closing his door.

I sighed.

"God, Bella you have it bad…", Damien said shaking his head but smiling.

I furrowed my brows.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"the love bug for Edward Cullen, you dumbass", Jake teased.

"What NO! That's impossible", I said," I don't love anyone like _that"._

"Denial isn't just a river in Egypt", Damien said laughing.

Jake guffawed and started laughing uncontrollably. Damien joined in and they were rolling on their bunks.

I huffed.

"You guys are so immature", I grumbled and plopped down on the couch.

They were still laughing when Edward came out. He looked at me with a confused expression like 'what's so funny?".

I snorted again and Edward smirked.

He came and sat down next to me.

"What's wrong? Are they teasing you again?" he asked grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"Oh shut up!", I said and shoved his shoulder.

We both laughed..

The whole group finally calmed down and I got up to go see Aro, our driver.

"Hey Aro"

"Hey Bells. Excited about your Vegas show?"

"Yea should be fun…Vegas.", I laughed," Speaking of Vegas, how far away are we?"

"Well, I'd say around two hours"

I smiled.

"Cool. Thanks".

I ran back to the living area where my band mates were watching TV. I smiled and they looked at me confused.

"Guys?"

"Yes?" they said in unison.

"Vegas baby…in TWO HOURS".

We all screamed and cheered. Edward turned on the radio and a mini dance party broke out.

I hopped on the couch and started dancing.

It was a pretty comical sight. We all had sunglasses on with a bottle of beer in one hand.

"We're here", Aro said from the driver's seat of the bus.

Cheering erupted from all of us.

We stood at the windows, watching all the lights from Vegas hit us. It was a really spectacular sight and it left me breathless.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" a soft, melodic, velvet voice said from next to me.

I turned my head and came nose-to-nose with none other than Edward. He was looking at me with smoldering eyes.

He seemed even more beautiful up close and I would be lying if I said I didn't get lost in his emerald eyes.

"Yeah", I said breathily.

He smiled slightly and leaned in. I closed my eyes and breathed in his scent. God, he was all kinds of perfect.

Suddenly, Jacob gave a loud wolf howl as 'Poker Face' by Lady Gaga came on throughout the bus's speakers.

"I love this song", Jacob moaned.

"Dance with me, Jakey", Damien said in a fake girls voice.

I laughed and I heard Edward's musical chuckle beside me.

I turned to him.

"So mi'lady, want to dance?" he said, smiling at me in a way I couldn't really identify.

I couldn't help but smile.

Sliding his hands onto my hip, I started swaying my body with his.

An electric current passed through my body from where his hands were to every nerve in me.

I chuckled as he dipped me dramatically.

His smile seemed to be glowing from within and I had a hard time looking away. He was so beautiful and in that moment, I felt strange all over.

A feeling I never before felt overcame me.

Every inch of me felt warm and I wanted nothing more then to wrap myself around Edward and stay there for the rest of eternity. I wanted to run my hands through his hair all day. I wanted to gaze into his eyes until I died. And, much to my disgust, I wanted to kiss him forever and ever.

What a strange feeling…

But I knew I had to get out soon, before I actually started like _liking_ my guitarist.

'Umm…I need to…need to..", I gulped as he stared at me with a questioning look," go get a coffee".

"Bella, you don't drink coffee"

"Umm… you don't know that…and besides, I'm suffering caffeine withdrawal"

He stared at me strangely as I walked into my room.

I shut the door and turned my back to the door and slid down the length of it.

Closing my eyes, I willed any thoughts of him to go away. As if it were that easy. As if someone as perfect as Edward could just magically disappear from our anyone's mind.

_Snap out of it, Bella_

I ran into my bathroom and splashed cold water on my face.

I looked up into the mirror and stared at the face. Brown wavy hair that went to my mid back and side bangs, chocolate brown eyes that looked hazel in sunlight, pale porcelain skin, and chiseled features. Honestly, I couldn't see why I was voted most beautiful woman of 2008, 2009, and 2010.

All I saw was a plain girl that got lucky.

A plain girl that just wanted to sing.

A plain girl that lost her innocence through the media.

A plain girl that was afraid to feel.

And a plain girl that had a crush on her guitarist.

After about ten minutes of staring at my wall, I got up and walked into my closet.

I put o a spaghetti strapped purple dress that came to right above my mid thigh. It had a sweetheart neckline and a brown bow tie in the middle of my breasts. The hem was hitched creating a unique effect.

I paired it with a pair of brown heels that had four buckles near the top. It was purple on the inside. Finally, I grabbed a brown clutch and put on a pair of brown earrings.

With that, I pulled on my black trench coat and made my way to the door of the tour bus. As I was about to step out, I heard a soft voice behind me.

"Where are you going?" Damien asked.

I slowly turned around and saw only Damien standing in the middle of the floor. His electric blue eyes seemed to display a sense of innocence that I couldn't help but crack over pressure. Damien was the little brother I never had.

"I'm going out"

He already knew that meant I was going 'guy shopping'.

"What about Edward?" he asked, still innocently.

"What about him?"

"You know what, Bells? Never mind", he said storming into the living room.

I wasn't up to his irrational anger, so I jogged out of the bus and into the nearest cocktail bar.

It had marble floors and a big chandelier, and it looked to be a part of a hotel. I sat down at the bar and ordered a glass of straight up scotch.

Suddenly, the seat next to me moved.

"That's a pretty strong drink for such a small, beautiful woman", a man's voice said from the seat.

I turned and smiled. He was exactly what I was looking for.

He had golden hair, and gray-and-violet eyes. He looked like a Calvin Klein model.

"What can I say? It was necessary", I smiled, batting my eyelashes.

"Oh bad day"

"No not really, just a lot of problems"

"If you want I could help you forget those problems", he said huskily, looking at me appreciatively.

"I think that would be lovely", I replied, grabbing his hand and dragging him out the door.

He crashed his lips to mine as we made our way to my tour bus.

Giggling, I pulled him inside.

"Bella…" he said wrapping his arms around my waist.

But I couldn't respond. For the sight before me shocked every nerve in my body.

The tour bus was wrecked, Jacob was sporting a black-eye, Damien was glaring at everything, and Edward was lip-locking with some skank on our couch.

"What the hell?" I screamed.

Edward and the skank broke apart looking like a deer caught in headlights.

He gulped nervously.

"EXPLAIN!" I screamed.

"Yeah, Edward, explain", Jacob said acidly.

"Um, Bella…have you met Victoria", he said nervously gesturing to the girl beside him.

I sneered at the beautiful girl on the couch. She had electric green eyes and long curly, but pretty red-and-golden hair. She looked like a model.

Suddenly, I was angry. Angry and hurt at this girl for no reason.

"Well have you met Blake", I smirked, gesturing to the Calvin Klein model next to me.

Edward narrowed his eyes and his jaw flexed.

"Hello Blake", Edward said angrily.

I grinned and ran my hand up-and-down Blake's chest.

"We were just going to dinner", I replied, trying to think about anything other than Edward kissing that girl.

"Well me and VICTORIA wanted to stay in", Edward replied, still glaring at Blake.

A fresh wave of jealously washed over me.

Wait…jealously?

No, that can't be it. I was just delusional.

However, I still dragged Blake outside and started pulling him to a restaurant.

He stopped and I stopped too. He stared at me for a moment before pulling me to his chest.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I can't do it, Bella"

"What"

"Look you're really beautiful and I mean really gorgeous, but you're in love with that guitarist guy and I don't like to be used, soo…", he let go of me and started walking away.

"Sorry", he said once more before disappearing into another bar.

_What a Jerk!_

Dejected I walked back to the tour bus, only to see the two love birds kissing again.

I walked into my room feeling nauseous from the amount of PDA back there. Sitting on my bed, the image just wouldn't go from my mind.

I have never seen Edward show any interest in any girl we ever encountered. Strange, why?

And I realized, that I was jealous of that girl back there. _Victoria_, didn't deserve my Edward.

My Edward. And somehow, I liked how that sounded.

I began sobbing when a realization came to me mind.

I was in love with my guitarist.

I hesitantly made my way out of my bedroom, wearing only a pair of gray sweats and a tight black tank top.

Nervously, I walked to the small make-shift recording studio on the bus. Trying to ignore the couple watching a movie was impossible and I felt my heart squeeze painfully when I saw how he was holding her. Spooning on the couch.

_That's supposed to be me._

I swiped at my eyes, willing the tears to go away.

Suddenly, the lyrics formed in my head, creating a song that I could actually relate too.

With a small smile on my face, I wrote down the lyrics and created the beat on my synthesizer.

After I finished, I downloaded it on a CD.

Smiling to myself, I slunk back into my room.

With my note and CD, I walked into the living area where Edward was just escorting Victoria out.

And my stomach churned when he smiled at her. My smile.

And I felt like I was going to puke when she smiled back.

"Edward", I called nervously when he closed the door.

His head snapped back and emerald met brown.

He shuffled forward and put his hands in his pocket. I choked back a sob.

In that moment, I saw how truly beautiful he was. Inside and Out. I loved the way his bronze hair couldn't be tamed. I loved the way his emerald eyes seemed to shine from within. I loved how perfectly chiseled he was. I loved how wide his shoulders were, how easily I could fall asleep on one. I loved how his arms seemed to be made to fit me perfectly. I loved how his voice made me shiver, all velvet and like. I loved how intelligent he was. I loved how kind-hearted he was. I love how fun-loving and humorous he is. I loved how he made me smile.

I loved him.

"Umm…I got you something", I said, trying to conceal my agony.

I handed him the note and CD, and I bolted to my room locking the door.

As soon as I closed the door, the sobs wracked through my body.

_He could never love me._

**EPOV**

I gulped as she locked her door.

_God, she was so beautiful._

I walked to my bedroom and laid down on my bed. I rubbed my eyes, trying to get the image of her out of my head.

Of course, that was utterly impossible.

Someone with that much beauty couldn't be easily erased from one's mind.

Before I met Bella, I thought beauty of that degree was only in fantasies.

And to be honest, I was stunned when I first met her.

Her long, rich, chocolate with natural red highlights hair flowed down to the middle of her back in soft waves. Her eyes were a depthless chocolate brown also, but were golden near the pupil. And she had a perfect heart-shaped face with angular, yet soft features. High cheekbones, long eyelashes, plump full lips. And her skin was a gorgeous creamy porcelain color. She was perfect.

But what was even more amazing was the personality behind the face.

Nothing could get more perfect than that.

She was intelligent, kind, fun, humorous, different, beautiful, talented, and any other good adjectives.

And I wanted nothing more than to wrap her in my arms and keep her there forever.

When she told Damien she was 'going out', I felt so incomplete, so broken inside. Just imagining another man holding and kissing her made me sick and made my heart almost stop beating.

I realized then I was in love with her.

When I tried to chase after her, Jake and Damien tried to stop me, which resulted in a huge fight. The bus got trashed and Jake ended up with a nasty-looking black-eye due to my anger.

Nonetheless, I felt horrible after.

So I went out and tried to make the big, gaping hole in my chest go away. I grabbed a random girl and dragged her back to the bus.

The only thing I found out before her lips collided with mine was her name, Victoria. I found her extremely annoying and was about to tell her so when Bella walked in with 'Blake'.

_Seriously, what kind of a guy name is Blake._

And my heart clenched. Here was the love of my life completely happy with a different guy in each town.

Yet, she only liked me as a friend.

So I kept Victoria a little longer, hoping to make myself seem less hopeless than I was. Although, I knew it was a lost cause. My heart would always belong to Bella.

And it jumped a little when she came home _alone._

I sighed and grabbed the note off my side table.

Opening it, surprisingly, seemed hard for my heart. Like this note could make or break our relationship.

With one last prolonging glance, I pulled the note from the envelope.

_Dear Edward,_

_I don't believe in love. The whole concept, idea, seems so foreign and fantastic to me. Love is unbelievable. The reason I first started dating so many guys was too attempt to even find a margin of love. Then after a while, I gave up on the whole idea and continued the habit. And in my skepticism, I didn't see what was right in front of me. A beautiful, inhumanly perfect man. I think its silly that I had to see you with another girl for me to realize my feelings. But I guess the saying is true. 'You don't realize how much you love someone until they promise themselves to another'._

_So I just wanted to tell you, that I am in love with you. Hopelessly, irrevocably, irreversibly, unconditionally, and unrequitedly. I just wanted you to know._

_Love always,_

_Bella._

My eyes were clouding over from the tears that threatened to escape. _She loves me? _

I couldn't comprehend it, couldn't understand, how someone so perfect could love me. And I couldn't help the smile that lifted across my face.

_She loves me!_

With a dazed expression, I put in the CD in the stereo.

Bella's beautiful, angelic voice glided out the speakers and I froze.

"_My heart booms at the speed of light_

_But the exit signs always on my mind, always in my sight_

_I can say that I really want to stay_

_But the devil inside always wins the fight, always gets his way"_

"_Jump out the window gotta get out on the highway, Think things have getting too attached I need an escape.I'm seeing stars and there is nothing more that I hate, baby"_

"_There is something that I gotta 's disgusting, how I love , I hate me. I could kill your messing up my walk my talk my fame, but I just want to touch your 's 's disgusting, how you changed a bandit to a about gotta change my name, If I'm gonna walk this walk of at what you do to 's disgusting."_

"_My mind blinks like a traffic 's green and red and stop and go. Changing all the it makes me scared, that I haven't it's still right here, more or or or less.""Stuck out in traffic, ya, I gotta go my own head is slipping, too intense I need an escapeI'm seeing stars and there is nothing more than I hate, baby."_

"_There is something that I gotta 's disgusting, how I love , I hate me. I could kill your messing up my walk my talk my fame, but I just want to touch your 's 's disgusting, how you changed a bandit to a about gotta change my name, If I'm gonna walk this walk of at what you do to 's disgusting.""Chapter by chapter, I'm falling faster and faster, Becoming manic and magic it's so romantic I panic, the eject button but it must be stuck, somethings did you slip into my drink? Baby.""It's disgusting, how I love , I hate me. I could kill your messing up my walk my talk my fame, but I just want to touch your 's 's disgusting, how you changed a bandit to a about gotta change my name, If I'm gonna walk this walk of at what you do to 's disgusting.""Oh, it's disgustingOh, it's disgustingLook at what you do to , look at what you do to 's ."_

The lyrics….were they about me?

And I couldn't hold back anymore. I bolted out of my room and ran up to Bella's door. Without knocking, I barged into her room only to see the most heartbreaking sight ever to occur.

Bella was sitting in a chair looking out the window in nothing but a towel, her wet dark hair plastered to her back and face. Her face was cupped in her hands, tears streaming through her slender fingers. Shoulders heaving from her sobs.

I gripped the door frame to keep from falling from the pain the sight caused me. I'm sure her agony was mirrored in my eyes.

I whimpered and she picked her head up from the sound.

And I stumbled to where she was sitting and fell to my knees before her. Her eyes were filled with an unfathomable pain, that made my chest throb in despair.

Feeling utterly retched, I laid my head in her lap and ran my fingers up-and-down her bare calf. Her sobs ceased but tears consistently ran down her beautiful face, but she slowly brought her hand to my head and began running her long, slender fingers through my unruly hair in a tenderly way.

"You're so beautiful", she whimpered and closed her eyes as if it hurt to look at me.

I let out a strangled sob.

"I'm sorry…so sorry…", I mumbled into her bare thigh.

She sobbed harder.

Unable to resist the urge to comfort her, I lifted my head and stood up dragging her with me. She wrapped her arms around my waist and pressed her forehead to my collarbone and cried, her tears seeping through my shirt. I squeezed her tighter to me and closed my eyes tightly shut. Then with an aching heart, I kissed her forehead and lingered it for a few more seconds than necessary.

"Bella?" I said.

She looked up at me with a devastatingly beautiful face that conveyed how much she loved me, and I felt my will power crumble.

_Who cares if _I'm_ not good enough for her? As long as she wants me, I'll be there._

I gripped her face with my hands and crushed my lips to hers. As soon as our lips touched, a spark ran through them and they moved in perfect sync. It was perfect, it was magic, it was bliss, it was…where I wanted to be for the rest of my life. Fireworks went off in my head, sirens sounded in my ears, and my whole body felt like it was on fire.

Finally after a few minutes, we pulled apart panting.

Bella had her eyes closed and a small blissful smile on her perfect lips.

"Bella, I-" I began but she put a finger up to my lips, silencing me.

"Don't say anything yet. I want to enjoy the moment before you leave me", she said sullenly.

"Bella, I love you", I blurted out quickly, feeling like a huge weight was taken off my shoulder.

Her eyes popped open and she kissed me again.

" I love you too Edward Cullen", she said quietly, staring deeply into my eyes.

And all was right in my world.

**BPOV**

For once in my life, I felt…whole.

**A/N: Awww, isn't it cute. I think I like writing one-shots haha, but alas they end far too soon. Haha. Anyways, be kind and share the love.**

**Review!**


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